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THOSE STARS LOOK TERRIBLE!!  THE BLOODIEST AWFUL GOWNS AND DRESSES OF THE STARS

Photos from L to R: #1. Britney Spears: Once again, Britney Spears must be included among the duds when it came to getting dressed in 2003. Most egregious was the bizarre ensemble she assembled for the MTV Awards. The style-challenged singer personally sliced up a "Page SixSixSix" tee (courtesy of T-shirt label Sophomore), to ensure that her tummy and one shoulder were exposed. Modesty took over, however, when it came to her black micro-mini, so she layered a pair of Pop Art-decorated mid-calf leggings underneath. Could it get any worse? Of course. A fedora and rhinestone bow-tie completed the disaster. To appear on MTV's Total Request Live, Spears was similarly schizophrenic. Her long-sleeved mohair sweater was unraveled to just beneath her breasts. Yet, while her entire torso was bared, she chose to cover her legs with a floor-length flowing peasant skirt. Asymmetry ruled once again for Spears in her only New York Fashion Week appearance, at the Diesel StyleLab show. Amazingly, Spears's denim-focused hosts were unable to hook her up with a pair of jeans, so she arrived wearing only a short striped sweater "dress," hanging off both shoulders. Thigh-high black boots finished the look. For Glamour magazine's swishy Women of the Year Awards, the pop star tried to class it up a bit, but fell terribly flat. A strapless black cocktail dress looked silly with long black satin gloves and tiny cocked tulle-covered hat. Perhaps Madonna will do us all a favor and give her kissing partner her stylist's number as a Christmas (or Kabbalah) gift his year.

 

#2. Goldie Hawn: It's about time Goldie Hawn let her wacky and wonderful personality fulfill the kooky quotient, and took her clothes a bit more seriously. After all, the 58-year-old actress will be a grandmother in 2004. Like much of the Hollywood set, Hawn kicked off 2003 at the Golden Globes. For the formal event, she chose a cream chiffon Christian Dior dress. Cut to the navel and laced up across the chest, the dress's ruffles and layers flitted around the plunging neck and through the skirt. She's certainly in great shape, but the gown looked plain silly. For the The Banger Sisters premiere, Hawn stepped out with costar and fellow 50-something Susan Sarandon and things took a turn fur the worse -- as she topped her fur-collared top with a floor-length shearling fur-trimmed coat. Worst of all, though, was not the fur overload, or the pleated miniskirt, or even the thigh-high boots. Hawn's bra-free nipples shining through her sheer black shirt were truly startling. When the actress came out to support her daughter at the premiere of Alex and Emma, she had the sense to cover up -- perhaps a little too much. The actress chose a "flower child" outfit that definitely showed her age, even if it wasn't appropriate for it. Bell-bottom jeans were flared with crochet insets, and topped with a knee-length white trapeze halter top. Finally, as she picked up a Lifetime Achievement Award at the recent Hollywood Awards Gala -- a perfect chance to polish up her tarnished style image -- Goldie dropped the ball once again. Her lace and satin off-the-shoulder blouson with sheer sleeves, atop gold raw-silk straight-leg slacks, was more fussy than fashion-forward. Please, Goldie, take a style cue from some of your over-50 peers, and simplify the look while still keeping it sexy.

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