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CDs REVIEWS. ROCK AND POP. Cont'd.
From the Desk of J.D. Lacroix
(Capitol)
As
Kelly Osbourne may well have reflected after tactically retreating from a
hail of litter at last month's Game On festival, life is seldom easy for
the rock star's child who chooses to join the family business. You have to
face accusations of nepotism and unfavourable comparisons with your
parent. For every Enrique Iglesias, legendary in his own right, there are
legions of Julian Lennons and Emma Townshends, swiftly discarded by record
buyers when the novelty wore off.
With this in mind, you have to wonder what made Lisa Marie Presley decide to embark upon a musical career at the age of 30. Life as the only daughter of the biggest rock star in history was clearly no picnic to start off with. She lost her father at nine. She was an enthusiastic consumer of cocaine by age 13. She wed Michael Jackson in 1994, months after he had settled out of court in a child abuse case. Her 2002 marriage to Nicolas Cage lasted a mere three months. Presley later claimed that Cage was merely "collecting Elvis memorabilia". Why create more difficulties in an already turbulent life? As the president of Elvis Presley Enterprises (estimated value: $150m), she can hardly need the money. Judging by the contents of her debut album, she can hardly harbour a burning desire to make a wildly individual contribution to music, either. To Whom It May Concern offers 50 minutes of standard-issue American AOR.
It
sounds like Alanis Morissette pushed through a sieve until every
distinguishing feature has been strained away. You don't expect unhinged
sonic innovation in the world of radio-friendly rock, but there's nothing to
latch on to here at all: no notable choruses, no guiltily pleasurable guitar
riffs. So Lovely boasts the album's solitary memorable hook, borrowed from
the theme to Midnight Cowboy. It's initially as hard as ever not to be swept
away by that lovely, descending pattern of notes. However, within seconds,
your reverie is disturbed by a deeply troubling notion. Someone actually
listened to the original - perhaps the most heartbreaking and beautiful
piece of music John Barry has ever written - and thought: "This is OK, but
imagine if we used it as the hook in an antiseptic AOR ballad. Wouldn't that
be something?" Of course, criticising the music on To Whom It May Concern
seems largely beside the point. No one is going to buy the album for its
winning way with a melody. They're going to buy it for the same reasons they
buy Hello! or Heat magazine: out of a prurient interest in celebrity.
Presley has made much capital from her self-penned lyrics, which she claims
spill the beans on her private life. "This record is me," she has said.
"Every song is me. You're going to see who I really am."
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